During the Stepping Up study by Beth Moore, I had to think through what life would have been like if the Lord had not been on my side (Ps. 124:1). I absolutely cannot imagine the disasters, chaos, and what-have-you I would have found myself in. I am so ever thankful that the good Lord stopped me dead on my tracks on a faithful January day back in 2000 – I was running away from life as I knew how with a baby boy in my arms. I didn’t know where to go or how to change the course of my life at the age of 26. So I did what came naturally to me.
Filled with shamed for a host of reasons – running away was my escape. Only it didn’t solve anything. I took a 30 day old baby boy (now 8) and left for Florida at the invitation of someone there. I was to stay there for a month or two then my plan was to go to Atlanta – again by another invitation. I was so lost and in desperate need of rescuing.
My God, in his sovereignty, had other plans. For as long as I had all the cards and directing the course of my life – it looked ok – only it wasn’t.
When I see people that their lives are totally messed up in every sense of the word – so far removed from God. In fact, the only times they think of God is when they used his holy Name as a curse word. My heart aches for them. I think to myself – it could have been me. Where would I be today had the Lord not been on my side? In looking at them – I go back and think of life without the Lord directing it. No telling where I would be today.
I want to be forever grateful to you Father God for rescuing me from me. I was on a path towards destruction and you met there, a place you had appointed before the foundation of the world. Before you ever uttered the words ‘Let there be’ – the plan for redemption was set and my name was already written in the Lamb’s book of life before any of them came to be.
Psalm 124: 1-5 If the Lord had not been on our side– let Israel say–
2 if the Lord had not been on our side when men attacked us,
3 when their anger flared against us, they would have swallowed us alive;
4 the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us,
5 the raging waters would have swept us away.