Confused – Help

A confused mind…

It should be expected that at the age of 35 that it should be clear what I want to become professionally. If not now (plenty of grey hair already) then when? That is the question? The truth is I am profoundly confused. It’s a known fact some children early on have a clear idea what they want to become when they grow up. In fact, last year I read a few biographical data and confirmed that many successful people knew from a very age what they wanted to be.

The culture I grew up in did not offer too many options. I never really had to do much thinking because the noble professions were very few: attorney or doctor. Anything else was not good enough. I was a good student growing up and still am to this day a student (maybe not as good) – and probably will be a student for a bit longer. I just love learning and school for that matter.

I am still trying to figure out where I fit in the realm of professions after a B.S in Biology and very soon a Master’s in another field totally unrelated. After graduating college, attended a technical school and got a Microsoft Certificate and started working in that field before completing the program and have been since specifically on the financial side of computers. I do not want to work on this area any longer and want out.

Sigh.

I am in a bit of a dilemma. Lately, not being too conscious of it is the desire to teach. The question that almost always follows is: teach what? Well –mathematics. I love the subject. Why not do it then? Because I am scared to death of my desires because of their tendencies to trip me up and send me on a total different course.

I do have a hard time differentiate between my desires which can look good outwardly but then turn out to be disasters later on. I am trying to walk that fine line where I want to do what God wants and not follow my own intuitions.

The lingering question is: should I pursue this desire or not? Is it math or not? Truth be told – I can’t quite think of what else it could be.

I was right at this juncture exactly 3 years ago and I even looked into it a bit then dropped the whole thing afterwards. I discussed the subject with a few godly friends whom I have great respect for and they advised me to follow through with it but I was still then somewhat perplexed as to what it should be. I wouldn’t mind teaching math at the high school level and even first year college or remedial math but doubt I can because I don’t have the credentials. I used to tutor other students in college in math – I guess I am not too terrible.

Since I am prone to make decisions only to later regret them – I am asking for your kind prayers and some godly advice. I am desperately seeking a change but one that I would look forward to getting up to in the morning and not dread.

Many thanks in advance.

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4 Responses to Confused – Help

  1. Sheryl says:

    Myriam,I love your honesty. I don’t know that this is great advice but if you have a desire to teach math, that can only be from God. I mean, really, who wants to teach math?! But seriously I believe God puts those different desires in us for a reason and it’s up to us to use them. Why have I always loved pen and paper, why have I always journaled? Did God put the desire to write in me and now He is waiting for me to use it for Him.Best thing to do is what you are already doing. Ask the Lord. Share your confusion with Him. I will pray that He will close doors if you start going through the wrong ones. But I think He wants you to start taking those first steps in trust.Seriously, teach math, you crazy girl!!!!Love ya,Sheryl

  2. Hi SherylThank you so much for the kind prayers. Boy, do I need Him to shut tight the doors that are not meant for me to enter through. The truth is I am not even sure it’s supposed to be math – it’s just the only I can think of that I have any skills in.I so appreciate your regular visit and the prayers. The wonders of the internet!Myriam

  3. R.L.Scovens says:

    I really do understand not having clarity on which road to take. I pray that God makes his will clear to you. I pray that you have the patience to wait and not step out ahead of him, but you know what? If you don’t hear an answer and you step out and make a mistake, he’ll STILL be there to correct it for you!It’s hard to know exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. I’m 36 and still don’t have a clear picture! I’m in school full time, but I’m really not sure that’s going to lead to what I thought it would. God is giving me little glimpses into my future. For now, I guess that has to be enough.LOL

  4. R.L.Scovens says:

    One day you’re gonna have to email me all about NY!!! I’m from Baltimore, but never got up to see NY!

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